You guys. My mom is at the airport texting me pictures of birthday cards. #ilovemymom
Did you vote for the President yet?
YOU see Bradley Whitford and think “West Wing”
I see Bradley Whitford and think “Billy Madison”
Elephantitis of the balls
(Source: choire, via unicornfandancing)
LET ME KISS YOUR FACE WITH MY FACE. YOU ARE AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE DAY I MET YOU.
YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY DRUNK.
DRUNK ON YOUR BEAUTY.
SMELLS LIKE MAKER’S MARK TO ME.
I’M GOING TO MAKE A MARK ON THAT FINE ASS OF YOURS.
I LIKE YOU WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK.
I LOVE YOU WHEN I’M NOT.
What is it?